TRUMP’S WORST NIGHTMARE GOES LIVE: COLBERT UNLEASHES “PERVERTED CLIPPY” EPSTEIN ROAST – AND THE WHITE HOUSE IS LOSING ITS MIND
NEW YORK – Stephen Colbert just delivered the most vicious 11-minute takedown in late-night history, and the walls of Mar-a-Lago are still shaking.
In front of a howling studio audience Monday night, Colbert held up a giant old-school Microsoft Office paperclip with Jeffrey Epstein’s face taped on it and declared:
“Looks like you’re trying to dodge questions about underage girls… would you like help from your personal perverted Clippy?”
The place detonated. Cut to commercial, the clip was already at 5 million views. By sunrise Tuesday it had smashed past 32 million and counting.
Inside Mar-a-Lago, sources say Trump absolutely lost it. Phones were thrown, Diet Cokes hit the wall, and one witness swears the former president screamed, “Turn that dying show OFF right now!” while aides scrambled to find the remote. Another insider told us the White House communications shop fired off frantic calls to CBS brass before the credits even rolled, demanding the segment be scrubbed from streaming platforms “or there will be hell to pay.”
Too late. #PervertedClippy rocketed to #1 worldwide on every platform, beating Taylor Swift and the NFL combined. TikTok is flooded with teens who weren’t even born when Clippy existed reenacting the bit. Late-night writers are calling it the single most brutal political joke since Tina Fey destroyed Sarah Palin in 2008.
Colbert didn’t stop at the killer line. He went full scorched-earth:
– Compared Trump’s Epstein friendship to the Hamburglar suddenly claiming he always assumed the burgers were ethically sourced.
– Pointed out Trump once called Epstein a “terrific guy who likes them on the younger side” – then played the clip. Twice.
– Closed with a slow zoom on the Epstein-Clippy hybrid whispering, “It looks like you’re trying to become president again… need some help from a guy who can’t vote anymore?”
The timing could not have been worse for Trump. Hours earlier, the House Oversight Committee dumped another 20,000 Epstein estate emails that keep his name on page after page – including the 2011 Maxwell exchange bragging that Trump “spent hours at my house with [redacted victim]” and never got caught. The same day Trump signed the bill ending the 43-day government shutdown while reporters screamed Epstein questions he refused to answer.
CBS sources say executives are “braced for impact.” One told us off-record: “They’re threatening everything – advertisers, licenses, you name it. But Stephen’s already taping tomorrow’s show and apparently he’s got something even bigger locked and loaded.”
Social media is pure chaos. MAGA accounts are posting crying Jordan memes and screaming “fake news,” while everyone else is just hitting the laughing emoji until their thumbs bleed. The monologue is now the most-shared late-night clip of the decade.
Trump’s only public response so far? A 3:12 a.m. Truth Social rant in all caps: “LOW RATING DYING SHOW HOST STEPHEN COLBERT IS A TOTAL LOSER – HIS CAREER IS OVER JUST LIKE HIS RATINGS!”
Colbert’s reply on Tuesday’s live show? He walked out holding a real Microsoft Office paperclip, taped Epstein’s mugshot to it, and simply said, “He mad.”
The Late Show is trending higher than any episode in ten years. Advertisers are reportedly begging for last-minute spots. And somewhere in a Manhattan evidence vault, the remaining sealed Epstein files are waiting for the next congressional vote.
One thing is crystal clear: Stephen Colbert just turned his final season into appointment television, and Donald Trump just handed him the match, the gasoline, and the zippo.
Whatever Colbert’s cooking for tonight, sources swear it makes “Perverted Clippy” look like the warm-up act.
The internet is locked, loaded, and ready. This war just went nuclear, and round two tapes in six hours.
You do NOT want to miss what happens next.
