KENNEDY & ELON MUSK LAUNCH FEDERAL PROBE: “NYC 2024 Was the Biggest Ballot Heist Since 1876”
Fox News, November 11, 2025 – Washington D.C.
Senator John Neely Kennedy and Elon Musk strode into the White House briefing room at 11:47 p.m., hauling a 1,200-page dossier stamped TOP SECRET in crimson ink. Musk raised his phone—tweet already at 127 million impressions—and declared: “NYC 2024 election = biggest ballot scam since 1876. I’m personally bankrolling $100 million to expose every dirty fingerprint. Game over.” The room’s fluorescent lights flickered as if the building itself recoiled.
Kennedy dropped the stack on the podium with a thud that cracked the varnish. “Elon rang me at 2 a.m.,” he drawled. “Ten minutes in, I told him, ‘Son, we ain’t investigating; we’re exhuming a cemetery.’” Reporters froze; pens hovered mid-note. The Louisiana senator’s eyes scanned the room like a prosecutor counting jurors.
He flipped to page one. Bombshell #1: 1.47 million NYC ballots printed on paper lacking federal security watermarks—standard since 2002. “Cheaper than the paper towels in the Capitol cafeteria,” Kennedy sneered. A blown-up sample rotated on the screen behind him: blank fibers, no micro-print, no UV threads. “Any sophomore with a Canon printer could forge these in study hall.”
Bombshell #2: Forensic ink analysis revealed 68,000 mail-in envelopes bearing the exact same thumbprint. The ridge pattern traced to a DNC consultant’s Brooklyn brownstone—address redacted, but GPS coordinates flashed onscreen. “One thumb, sixty-eight thousand votes,” Musk interjected. “That’s not democracy; that’s a fingerprint factory.”
Bombshell #3: Starlink satellites—repurposed for election integrity—captured 3 a.m. “ballot mules” heaving 400-pound sacks into unguarded drop boxes in Queens. Thermal imaging showed the sacks glowing like fresh bread. Timestamp: 03:14:27. License plate: blurred, but VIN traced to a rental fleet leased by a 501(c)(4) dark-money PAC. “Ghost riders in the sky,” Kennedy muttered.
Bombshell #4: 42,000 deceased voters still registered at addresses now occupied by Starbucks, Chase banks, and one abandoned Blockbuster in Staten Island. Cross-referenced Social Security death index: average post-mortem voting age—87. “These folks been pushin’ daisies longer than some of y’all been pushin’ pencils,” Kennedy said.
He leaned into the C-SPAN lens, voice dropping to a whisper that somehow filled the room: “This ain’t fraud. This is felony organized crime wearing an ‘I Voted’ sticker.” The seal of the Department of Justice flashed onscreen—Attorney General Pam Bondi’s signature still wet. Raid warrants authorized for six NYC warehouses at 05:00 tomorrow.
Musk added the kicker: “Every warehouse is wired with Starlink cams now. Try hiding bodies when the sky’s watching in 8K.” He tapped his phone; live feeds popped up—FBI vans idling outside corrugated doors in Red Hook. Agents in windbreakers checked breaching charges.
Kennedy closed the dossier. “We’re not turning over rocks; we’re floodlighting the graveyard.” A final slide: projected cost of the heist—$42 million in dark money, per bank wires already subpoenaed. The room exhaled collectively; one CNN reporter’s recorder clattered to the floor.
Outside, Marine One’s rotors thumped overhead—President Trump en route to sign the emergency funding EO. Inside, the press corps sat stunned. The only sound: the dossier’s pages settling like fresh dirt on a coffin. Dawn raids in five hours. The graveyard just got floodlights.
